Krysten’s Review

As the author of a highly underrated self-published book that deserves to be waaaay more popular than it is, I can say without a doubt that The Color of Trauma is another such highly underrated self-published book that deserves to be waaaay more popular than it is. Because this book is ahhh-mazing—but it is not for the faint of heart. (Also, make sure you don’t have anything on your schedule for the next 24 hours, because once you start reading, anything else just ain’t happening.)

Everyone has terrible memories, awful experiences that they wish had never happened, that they wish they could forget. Most of us eventually learn to live with the usual human stuff, like breakups and deaths of loved ones and betrayals. But not everyone is able to overcome the effects of life-altering traumas like witnessing violence, being assaulted or raped, or surviving near-death experiences. But what if you actually could rid yourself of those experiences and the feelings associated with them? What if there was a way to remove your bad memories, just dump them on someone else and walk away lighter? Would you do it? Would you put the burden of your past trauma onto someone else? And on the flip side, if you could do that for someone, would you?

That’s the intriguing concept Hollie Smurthwaite tackles in The Color of Trauma, which takes place in a world exactly like ours, but for one thing: There is a small group of people who have the ability not just to see someone else’s memories, but remove the ones they don’t want. Like anyone who doesn’t fit into the mainstream, these “memory surgeons” are misunderstood, feared, reviled, even hated, solely for being different.

The problem wasn’t really Kiera but their ignorant society and people’s habits of judging others no matter how little evidence available. The world didn’t know or accept Kiera, not really, though they had no trouble using her.

It’s a nice thought, being rid of your worst experiences, but what are the repercussions? What is the cost—not just financially, but emotionally, mentally, psychologically? For both the subject…

Denial as a coping mechanism wasn’t inherently bad, but those holes in memory had to become weaknesses, didn’t they? A person couldn’t just remove their trauma. They had to integrate it or live in that fight for the rest of their lives.

…and the “surgeon” who takes on the burden of those memories?

They were always there, the memories, like sharks swimming deep in the ocean of her mind, never sleeping, always hunting, always hungry.

Sounds pretty heavy (and it is, no doubt), but the mark of a brilliant writer is that you can pose big questions and make a statement while still entertaining the hell out of your reader. In this case, these big questions are woven into a complex and compelling story with a whole lotta drama, suspense, and hot romance.

Smurthwaite’s writing is so fresh and compelling and witty and real. Not only that, but she pulls you into the characters’ lives straightaway, and makes you feel for them. Maybe you can’t exactly relate to them (being a “memory surgeon” or a homicide detective aren’t exactly common jobs, and not too many people are kidnapped on a regular basis or are famous enough to be recognized by strangers) but somehow you can just the same. Feeling like you don’t fit in because you’re different is relatable. Being afraid of losing someone or something that’s too good to be true is relatable. Feeling lost, unable to find where you belong or what your purpose is, like you’re not good enough to be happy—yep, relatable. I swear I felt everything the characters felt: Their rage, their despair, their hope in the face of hopelessness, their joy as well as their fear over losing it.

And that’s when you know you have a damn good book.